Getting engaged? How do you ask for a prenup?

Engagements are a significant milestone in many relationships, often marked by special moments shared with loved ones. This time is filled with joy as couples plan their future together. Amidst this excitement, you might find yourself considering the practical aspects of marriage, such as entering into a prenuptial agreement. Discussing a prenup can be delicate, but it's a crucial step in ensuring both partners understand and agree on financial arrangements should challenges arise in the future. Here's how to approach this important conversation smoothly.



What is a prenuptial agreement?

A prenuptial agreement or contracting out agreement, is one of the most important documents you'll ever sign. It allows you to contract out of the Property (Relationships) Act and define your own rules for the splitting of property on the breakdown of a relationship. Agreements can be made between a husband and wife, civil union partners and de facto partners. It is the cheapest, most adaptable and effective way of protecting current and future assets.

Who needs a prenup?

Prenuptial agreements are not a new legal creation, they’ve been around for centuries. There is a misconception that only the very wealthy have prenuptial agreements, however, everyday people also benefit from the protection a prenup delivers.

People who are on their second marriage

With people often having more than one marriage or long-term relationship, a prenuptial agreement is a way to safeguard their assets should their relationship fail.

Couples with different spending habits

​A prenuptial agreement outlines each party's financial responsibilities during the relationship and helps manage expectations regarding bill payments, savings, and spending habits. They give clarity as to who owns which debts, income and other assets that have either been bought together or acquired individually.

People due to inherit

If either party expects to receive an inheritance, a prenuptial agreement ensures it remains separate property. This arrangement protects family heirlooms or substantial future inheritances from being divided in the event the relationship breakdown.

It must be noted that if you are a beneficiary of a will, the inheritance is not automatically relationship property and falls outside of the Property (Relationships) Act – if you keep the money as a separate entity from relationship property. For example, if you put the money in a joint bank account, use the money to pay down the mortgage/renovate the house, the inheritance becomes relationship property. If you are in any doubt, speak to one Weston Ward and Lascelles’ team of Christchurch lawyers before you take any action.

Similarly, with blended families being commonplace, prenuptial agreements can be used to protect the inheritance people wish to leave to their children rather than a significant portion being open to claim by the surviving partner.

Business owners

Entrepreneurs and business owners use prenuptial agreements to protect their business interests and preserve the company’s stability and continuity. This agreement ensures the business remains under their control and shields it from potential claims by a spouse. Business lawyers may advise you to change the structure of your business to best secure your future interests, seeking tailored commercial legal advice reduces the risk of future disputes and stress.



How to ask for prenuptial agreement

As experienced prenuptial agreement lawyers, Christchurch’s Weston Ward and Lascelles have seen a steady increase in the number of couples requesting prenups, and have witnessed the impact of both successful requests, and those that have not gone down too well. Asking your partner for a prenuptial agreement is a delicate and sensitive conversation. While it may not be the most romantic topic, discussing a prenup can be a practical and responsible step in preparing for your future together – if handled appropriately.

Before starting any conversation about a prenuptial agreement, it's crucial to recognise the significance of open and honest communication. Approach the discussion with a genuine intention to protect both yours and your partner's assets and financial well-being in the event of unforeseen circumstances.

Choose the right timing and setting

Selecting an appropriate time and place to discuss the prenup is essential, immediately after the proposal is not it. Instead opt for a time when both you and your partner are relaxed and free of distractions. Raising the topic of a prenup during an emotionally charged situation or high-stress period may lead to misunderstandings or conflict. Ensure the setting is private, comfortable, and conducive to having a meaningful conversation.

Emphasise the importance of financial planning

Prenuptial agreements are not about pre-empting a dissolution or separation, rather they are instrumental for financial planning and security for the future. Discuss the benefits of understanding each other's financial expectations and responsibilities and how a prenup serves as a precautionary measure to protect both parties in the case of unforeseen events or potential disagreements.