How to navigate Christmas for separated parents

Oct 24, 2023

The holiday season is typically joyful for families. However, it can be challenging for separated parents, particularly if it's their first Christmas apart. Co-parenting during the holidays can be challenging as you balance festive plans and prioritize the children's well-being.


Common issues that arise over Christmas

Some families can set aside their disagreements and work together to ensure the kids have a good Christmas. However, it can be very difficult to cooperate with someone who doesn't like you. Each family is different, but common problems that our family lawyers in Christchurch often deal with include:


  • Arrangements for the key dates of Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, and New Year’s Eve
  • Arrangements for visiting members of the wider families
  • Buying gifts
  • Where and when to have changeovers
  • Holidays overseas with the children and domestic trips away


Revisit your Parenting Agreement/Order


Before delving into the nuances of co-parenting over Christmas, do you have a parenting agreement or order? If you do, the order provides parents with a clear plan for their co-parenting duties. This helps both parties understand their rights and duties. Additionally, the plan may also include rules specifically for Christmas.


Seeking advice from a seasoned family attorney guarantees a well-defined parenting order customized to your unique situation. If you don't have one yet, or if your existing agreement or order lacks details about Christmas and birthdays, it's prudent to schedule a meeting with a family attorney to modify the agreement in advance.


Dad with daughter putting decorations on a Christmas tree

How to avoid issues over the Christmas period


Plan early: time is of the essence; discuss Christmas plans well in advance. This allows ample time for both parties to consider and agree on the holiday schedule. Leaving decisions about Christmas to the last minute increases the risk of disagreements.


Flexibility is key: the holiday season often comes with unexpected surprises and changes in plans. Being flexible and adaptable helps reduce friction. Compromise will always be welcome.

 

Create new traditions: embrace the opportunity to establish new holiday traditions with your children. During Christmas, you can create new traditions. These traditions can include decorating the tree, making a special meal, or opening Christmas Eve gifts. By doing these activities, you can create lasting memories.


Open and honest communication: maintain open lines of communication with the co-parent. If it's not possible, find someone else to talk to about any problems or worries that come up during the holidays.


What if we can’t agree about Christmas arrangements?


Don't force kids to decide. Asking their opinions is good, but don't make them feel stressed or overwhelmed. You can use mediation to finalize agreements, and having a family lawyer advise you with negotiations is helpful. However, if you do not succeed, you can make an application to the Family Court for a parenting order.



Christmas is a time for families and happiness, but it can also bring strong feelings. If you're concerned about your family's Christmas plans and how the festive season will go, contact us now. We can have a private and non-binding conversation. Call 03 379 1740 or email enquiry@wwl.co.nz.

Two men in suits are shaking hands in an office.

Learn Shareholder Agreements

22 Apr, 2024
A Shareholder Agreement is an essential legal document for any business owned by more than one person (not being their relationship partner) It’s a legally binding agreement between shareholders or business partners to establish a framework of how the company should be operated and outlines the rights, obligations and roles of the shareholders when (not if) one of the eventualities occur. What is in a Shareholder Agreement NZ? Shareholder Agreements include, but are not limited to covering off: One of you are: Dying Suffering total permanent disability Suffering trauma Waiting to retire You started fighting and neither want to leave If leaving how a fair price for your interest is fixed What happens if the others refuse to buy you out What happens if you are leaving and have money tied up in the business Controls around hiring/firing, borrowing, extending credit and changing business directors etc Why do you need a Shareholders Agreement in New Zealand? Consider a Shareholders Agreement as the bedrock of a business structure ; without it, the business’ foundation becomes precarious. It ensures shareholders are treated fairly and their rights are protected, whether from internal conflicts to ambiguity regarding share valuation and shareholder roles. Essentially, it serves as a proactive measure to avoid potential crises and gives structured processes to stop disagreements escalating and avoid complications. 
A woman in a blue dress and black jacket is standing in front of a building.

Rosa Bellolio Roth: Leading the Future of Weston Ward & Lascelles

18 Apr, 2024
Weston Ward & Lascelles, a law firm with a storied history spanning 140 years in Christchurch, is thrilled to announce a significant milestone in its leadership evolution. Rosa Bellolio Roth, previously a senior associate and a vital member of the litigation team, has been promoted to Director, marking a new chapter in the firm’s legacy. Rosa’s journey with Weston Ward & Lascelles has been marked by dedication, expertise, and a deep commitment to justice, particularly within the realm of family law. Her promotion comes at a pivotal time as the current partners, seasoned veterans nearing retirement, are passing the torch to ensure the firm’s continued growth and excellence. In her new role, Rosa will maintain her influential position within the litigation team while embracing increased responsibilities. This transition is part of a strategic plan, with one of the current partners beginning to scale back her hours to mentor Rosa in taking the helm of the litigation team. Rosa's vision extends beyond maintaining the status quo. She is committed to expanding the business, with a special focus on strengthening the family law team. This initiative has already seen the addition of a new PA and a law graduate, with plans to welcome a junior solicitor in early 2024, reinforcing the team’s capacity to deliver top-tier legal advice and access to justice for their clients.
Share by: