Why You Should Update Your Will

If you are reading this article because something about your relationship doesn’t feel right to you, it’s most likely not, and Weston Ward and Lascelles’ family lawyers in Christchurch NZ think you should continue reading. It’s important to be aware that not all types of family harm and domestic abuse involve physical violence, there are many different types of abuse that can occur in an intimate relationship. Disagreements happen in all relationships, but if they become more frequent and start to form a pattern for when they occur, it can be a sign there is something more going on and the relationship is abusive. Using the word abusive can make you feel uncomfortable. It can be incredibly hard to acknowledge what is happening to you. The realisation you are in an abusive relationship can be painful and unleash a sense of shame and guilt. You might start wondering, ‘Could you have prevented it? Stopped it? Loved your partner more?’, Trauma-related guilt often stems from a feeling that you could have done something more or differently during the relationship; however, abuse is not your fault and nor could you have stopped it. You are not responsible or to blame for your partner’s abusive behaviour; abuse is a pattern of power and control. In recent years, the discourse surrounding family harm has expanded to include a more nuanced understanding of abusive behaviour. Domestic abuse isn’t just about physical violence . It isn’t just about a strong man physically abusing a weak woman. The problem with this cultural narrative is the signs of abuse in a relationship are often not recognised, because it doesn’t ‘look’ like it. Domestic abuse can take the more subtle form of coercive control.